Strength and Courage... The Crying Game...
No this has nothing to do with the Movie...
Around this time last year I used almost every once of Energy to take care of the ones I loved and not leave anyone behind of left out...
It wasn't about me but the once I Truly Loved...
My Mother had Lung Cancer that spread to her Bones and while in the Hospital she broke her Hip/Thigh because of the transporting for her treatment...
Driving around the city I brought myself back in time and it's clear as yesterday...
My mom was not told by anyone that she had a little time left with us...
She was in pain and afraid but hopeful that she would leave the hospital and go home...
This is what we all wanted... For our Mother to come home and prolong her life to spend with us...
She often told me not to be afraid and not to cry but I did...
I now realized that this may not have helped her because she had fear and pain and she didn't need this on top of that... It might had made it worse for her and put alot on her shoulders to see the ones you love being there for you but not being able to help yourself or them.
I'm not a depressed person but there's a sadness in me...
I'm not a logical person but a passionate one...
I didn't want compassion but I needed support and I got it from many people...
I'd like to say thanks again...
It all comes down to Strength and Courage but then again we are all Human...
Crying is allowed... I guess it's the guilt of crying in front of My Mother gives my Regret...
I'm still learning!!!
I need to go see My Mother again Soon...
She would had been very Happy that I Cut My Hair...
It's my thought of My Mother Today...
She will always be with me...
Always...
That's it for today...
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